Metaphorical Bullet
by Moira Seoighe
Summary: Can Kendall Knight overcome his own inner demons?


_**Disclaimer:**__ Not mine, never has never will._

_I hope you all enjoy this. I'm starting it at an odd place, so don't be worried if you're confused. You're meant to be haha._

_Chapter One._

-Come and meet me at the park

-K be there in five

-See you.

That was the three messages exchanged. Kendall sat, waiting for his girlfriend to appear at his side, snuggle up under his arm and shower him in kisses.

The blonde haired, blue eyed beauty appeared in less than the five minutes she had said, and she did everything he had imagined her to do.

"Are we having a picnic?" she asked, once she was done greeting him. He shook his head.

"No, we need to talk," he'd been dreading saying those words. But, obviously, not as much as she'd been dreading hearing them. She drew away from him, clasping her hands together on her knees; she stared at him in shock.

"About what?" she asked, her voice hopeful. Kendall stared resolutely ahead.

"Us, about us," he murmured. He sighed heavily before continuing. "I don't think we should be together, Jo, it's just, I don't like you like that anymore. I'm really sorry, Jo, but, I can't be with you when I don't have any feelings for you…" he trailed off, his voice quiet, and he remained stock still while he waited for a response from her. She didn't make him wait long.

"So, what? You're breaking up with me. Already? I thought we had something special going on. You always made these picnics and did everything to be with me, and now you're just throwing it all away? You aren't even going to try?"

She couldn't see the exhaustion and pain standing starkly in his eyes, or the way one arm was wrapped securely around his waist, as though holding himself together, purely by his arm. She didn't see the way every blink was slow and deliberate, as though he had to remind himself to do it. She didn't see the twitch of his lips, trying not to bite them, or the tremble of his hands. She didn't see any of it.

But he saw the tears in her eyes, the way her chin trembled, the way her throat moved, her pale hand brushed hair out of her face and fell back into her lap as she tried to keep composure. He saw it all, and it broke his heart that little bit more, to know that he was the cause of this, that he could easily put a stop to it, but he couldn't. He had to remain strong, and keep up his façade. She couldn't see.

"That's right. I don't like you, Jo. I'm sorry if I come across as an ass, but, I can't be with you,"

She leapt to her feet, her eyes wide and angry, flashing in her fury, her chest heaved as she tried to restrain herself.

"HOW DARE YOU, KENDALL KNIGHT! FINE, WHATEVER, IT'S OVER. GOOD RIDDANCE, YOU AREN'T WORTH IT ANYWAY!" she screamed, her pale hand lashing out, across his pale features, striking hard and leaving an imprint of hand and ring. When he didn't wince, or even raise a hand to rub his cheek, she struck again, same cheek, and stormed off, sobbing and shaking.

He stared after her for a moment, before leaping to his feet and running, running in the opposite direction to her, towards Rocque Records, where he knew he needed to be in an hour anyway. His pace was slow and haggard, and he entered the building with a stumble, but headed straight for the supply closet, the one place he knew he could, strangely, find peace.

He curled up in a ball, hugging his knees to his chest, as he held back the sobbing, as tears laced their way down his pale cheeks. He thought of the girl whose heart he just broke, and how it broke his ten times more to have done that. He kept replaying the entire event over in his head, trying to decide if he shouldn't have done it, but knowing it was for the best.

After a while of sitting there, once the tears stopped, Kendall stood up and exited the closet, heading towards the toilets. He splashed water on his face, and looked at his reflection. _Could be worse_, he decided finally, running his fingers through his hair, and leaving the room, heading towards the studio.

"Ah, Dog, so nice of you to grace us with your presence," Gustavo snarled at him. He glared back, his mouth twisted into its normal little smirk.

"Anytime, Gustavo, anytime,"

It was then he realised that his three band mates were staring at him, all eyes glued to him, like Gustavo wasn't even there.

"Excuse us for a few minutes," James suddenly said to Gustavo and Kelly, as he, Logan and Carlos all pulled Kendall out of the room and towards the supply closet were he had been presiding not too long ago.

"What the hell, Kenny?" James exclaimed suddenly, into the silence.

"Umm…?" Kendall went for feigning confusion.

"Why'd you break up with Jo? She's devastated,"

Kendall sighed; he really should've known this was going to come.

"Uh, it just wasn't working. I figured, why unnecessarily prolong a relationship that will just cause pain and heartbreak in the end? There was nothing there, I wasn't going to keep stringing her along like a puppet," he said, hiding the sadness in his voice, hiding how he really felt.

"Dude, that's not cool. Jo came back to Palm Woods crying her eyes out. I can't believe you'd do that to her. She's heartbroken now. The poor girl is devastated, and here you are, acting like you did her a favour. God, Kendall, when did you become like that?"

Kendall shrugged, trying not to let the cracks show, trying not to let them see that this was killing him.

"Look, I am doing her a favour. I'm saving her from what could be a worse heartbreak, if I kept her along. There was no love there, no feelings anymore, so, I did what was best. Besides, what's it to you?" he was going into attack mode.

James drew himself up to his full, impressive height, and said,

"What's it to us? Maybe the fact that our best friend has changed, and just broke the heart of one of our closest girl friends," he got right in Kendall's face, eyes narrowed in anger.

"Where is Kendall!" he demanded.

Kendall stared at him in shock.

"You're going to side with her? Can't you guys see, I wasn't trying to be an ass, I was trying to do what I thought was best,"

"Yea, because the best thing is always breaking a girls heart. Kendall, get screwed, mate," all three boys glared at him as the left the closet, not looking back at him.

Kendall sighed, his shoulders slumped in defeat. He swallowed harshly, scrubbing at his face with his hands, feeling his tender cheek, wiping the stray tear that fell, he exited Rocque Records.

Freight Train was standing just outside the entrance, when he exited.

"Hey," they both greeted at the same time. Freight Train smiled slightly.

"Want a lift home, kid? Looks like you could do without the added walk,"

Kendall nodded and the big man carried the boy to the car, placing him gently in his seat, before heading towards the front of the vehicle and driving the boy back to Palm Woods. He then helped the boy up to his apartment, not carrying, just supporting.

Freight Train watched as the boy struggled through the walk, even with the help.

"You broke up with your girl?" he asked finally.

Kendall nodded his head sadly.

"I can't have her, if I'm to get through this," he said, hoping that Freight Train would understand. The big man nodded his head; he then looked closely at Kendall's face.

"I take it it didn't go down to well, then," the man said, Kendall snorted in mild amusement.

"Barely, I don't think I'm going to be able to show my face around here much anymore," he said glumly, as they entered 2J.

"Thanks for bringing me home, Freight," Kendall said as the man turned to leave.

"Anytime, Kid, anytime," he said closing the door behind himself.

Kendall walked to the bathroom, and looked closely at his face. Red rimmed eyes, pale skin, and a dark bruise forming on his cheek in the shape of a hand print. That wasn't expected. Camille had slapped his face often, and it had never bruised before.

_Just another side effect, I guess, _he thought, tracing the dark area lightly, wincing all the same. 

He stared at his reflection for a while longer, seeing the gaunt appearance his face was taking on and headed to bed. He didn't care that it was the middle of the day, or he should really be at band practice, he was exhausted, heartbroken and in so much pain he could barely stand. One day without him, wouldn't kill the band.

He kicked off his shoes and slid under his covers, pulling them up to cover his head, cocooning himself in his blankets, letting them be his defence, he slipped into slumber, his green eyes closing and his breathing evened out.

It felt like only minutes later that he was disturbed by his best friends barging into his room, banging the door shut behind them.

"Kendall Donald Knight, wake up right now!" Logan yelled. He just groaned, rolling over, entangling his slender frame even more, but, he didn't not awaken.

Carlos and James ripped the blankets off him, which propelled him onto the floor. He awoke with a start at that, and lay on the floor, staring up at his mates in confusion. All three were glaring down at him, arms folded. He sat up, feeling so small and insecure.

James grabbed him by the upper arm and dragged him to his feet before pushing him back onto his bed. He opened his mouth to start his tirade at Kendall, but stopped, frozen. He leaned forward and ran a finger lightly along Kendall's cheek.

"That from Jo?" he asked, his fingers still touching the bruise that line the right side of his face. Kendall nodded, his eyes drooping, as he fought to remain awake.

"Would you tell us why you actually broke up with her?" James asked.

"I've been telling the truth. I can't explain it, other than, I no longer feel like she's the one. I can't be in a relationship with someone if I don't have a connection with them. That connection is gone," he said, half truthfully. But the way his voice sounded, so sincere and honest, his mates couldn't help but believe him. Besides, it was Kendall; after all, he wasn't a bad guy. He was sweet, and friendly, and too nice in fact. Sure, he sometimes had a temper, but it was never taken out on any girl.

"Ok, dude, ok," James said, nodding his head, letting it go. He squeezed the other boys shoulder, and backed away slightly.

"Yeah, sorry, bro, we just… don't like seeing you or Jo hurt," Logan said, Carlos nodding in agreement. Kendall smiled slightly.

"S'ok, guys, but, can I go to sleep now? Please?" he begged them, his eyes so wide and sad that it almost scared his friends. He never pleaded with them; it was always the other way around. They nodded, and Kendall climbed back into his bed. James covered him with his blankets, and the three boys left the room.

A glistening tear slid down his pale cheek.

His friends were always too kind, too forgiving.


End file.
